Why Do Women Stay? Elena Rybakina, Stefano Vukov, and the Psychology of Abuse
What Rybakina's coaching controversy says about abusive relationships. | Also in this issue: Can Jannik Sinner win the Sunshine Double? | Know your espresso!
The most disturbing aspect of the abuse allegations against Stefano Vukov, Elena Rybakina’s former coach and present boyfriend, is her defending him.
This is not a love story. Yeah, it's not exactly the relationship you want to discuss on Valentine’s Day. However, some women are in abusive relationships on Valentine’s Day and all other days.
The New York Times reported that the WTA Tour has banned Vukov from coaching and obtaining credentials for professional tennis events.
According to the Times, the WTA issued Vukov a summary of its private investigation. The summary alleged that Vukov was abusive, causing Rybakina mental and physical distress.
Rybakina rejects the characterization of her relationship as abusive. If she’s correct, the WTA, tennis greats, and journalists are slandering her boyfriend. If she’s in denial, she’s in danger.
Rybankina maintains that Vukov is not a threat to her. This week, Rybakina lost her quarterfinal match to Iga Swiatek in Doha, 2-6, 5-7. After the initial denial, Rybakina kept quiet about the ban and allegations.
Sadly, an alleged victim defending an accused abuser is too typical. Even with black eyes and bruises, many abused women make excuses for their tormentors.
Why would a victim defend her abuser?
I don’t know why some women defend their abusers, but I witnessed this phenomenon.
Early in my journalism career, I covered the police beat for the Staten Island Advance in New York City’s least-populated borough. My reporting involved going to each precinct and sifting through police reports. This was long before digital documents. I’d grab a pile of reports to search for something newsworthy.
I was stunned by the number of domestic abuse charges. I was even more surprised by how many women elected to drop chargers. Even with witnesses listed in the report, many women wished to stay with the abuser and not press charges.
In a 2011 study, researchers at The Ohio State University listened to recorded jailhouse phone calls between 17 men charged with felony domestic violence and their female partners who decided to drop charges.
In these calls, the abusers minimized the abuse and painted themselves as victims. Some spoke of depression and loneliness. One abuser threatened suicide. Manipulation is a tool abusers use to keep their victims in check.
Is Rybakina being manipulated? The dynamics are there. Complicating the issue is the romantic relationship between Rybakina and Vukov, who was 32 when he started working with the then-19-year-old tennis player.
Rybakina’s lack of relationship experience, the age gap, and his position of authority present an imbalance in power.
Yet, she credits him with her success. Meanwhile, he reportedly makes sure she never forgets it.
In its summary to Vukov, the WTA alleged that he called Rybakina “stupid” and told her that without him, she would “still be in Russia picking potatoes.”
Tennis journalist Sonya Tartakova suggested Vukov’s emotional abuse was having a physiological impact on Rybankina. Tartoakova linked Rybakina’s withdrawal from tournaments to Vukov’s behavior.
“It’s clear to me you have a toxic relationship,” wrote WTA CEO Portia Archer. She stated in the letter that while there is increasing evidence that Vukov and Rybakina are involved in a romantic relationship and that he stayed in her hotel room in Melbourne during the Australian Open, that does not change the facts of the case.
It also doesn’t change Rybankina’s mind. “I'm just disappointed with the situation, and how the process went,” Rybakina told reporters in Doha. “I'm not going to comment much on that any more.”
If Vukov is abusive, and Rybakina insists on seeing him, banning him from tournaments may not help her. It might push her toward him in an “us against the world” pact.
The WTA's preemptive actions vs. the ATP’s inaction
What’s interesting is how the WTA stepped in to save Rybakina from herself versus how the ATP handled domestic violence allegations against Alexander Zverev.
On Andy Roddick’s podcast, Quick Served, sports journalist Jon Wertheim said the WTA might be trying to avoid a situation down the road in which something horrible happens and people retroactively point to many warning signs.
“I think the WTA said, listen we have an obligation, we have a duty to make sure that this is a safe workspace even if she is not cooperating,” said Wertheim.
Consider how the ATP Tour has handled abuse allegations against Zverev. Two women have accused him of physical abuse. One is the mother of Zverev’s child. He denies it. He’s never been charged. However, he settled a civil case with one accuser. In 2021, the ATP conducted an investigation but “was unable to substantiate the allegations of abuse.” Zverev was never suspended.
Vukov hasn’t been charged or accused of abuse by the alleged victim. Yet he’s banned from coaching privileges for a year.
Rybakina is one of the most talented players on the tour. I hope she is right; this is all a misunderstanding, and everyone else is wrong about Vukov. However, I have my doubts. I hope I’m wrong.
Can Jannik Sinner Win the Sunshine Double?
Indian Wells and the Miami Open are two 1000-level hard-court tournaments that happen back-to-back. Known as the “Sunshine Double,” these tournaments are the most prestigious outside of the Grand Slams and the year-end tournaments.
Jannik Sinner, the reigning Australian Open champion, is eyeing the elusive Sunshine Double—winning both Indian Wells and the Miami Open in the same season. But as history has shown, this feat is rare.
Sinner won the Miami Open last year, but Carlos Alcaraz is the two-time defending champion at Indian Wells.
The list of tennis legends who have conquered the Sunshine Double reads like a VIP lounge at a Grand Slam afterparty: Jim Courier (1991), Michael Chang (1992), Pete Sampras (1994), Marcelo Rios (1998), Andre Agassi (2001), Roger Federer (2005, 2006, 2017), Novak Djokovic (2011, 2014, 2015, 2016), and Carlos Alcaraz (2023). Rafael Nadal and Andy Murray never did it.
Why is the Sunshine Double so difficult to achieve? Well, imagine running a marathon through the Sahara, then immediately hopping on a plane to run a second one in a rainforest. Indian Wells, played in the California desert, is slow, dry, and forces players into grueling baseline rallies where patience is as crucial as a good hydration plan.
Meanwhile, Miami’s humid, sea-level conditions turn the ball into a slippery fish, making speed and adaptability more important than endurance. Surviving both requires a mix of desert endurance and tropical resilience—essentially, Sinner has to morph from a camel into a jaguar within a span of two weeks.
But Sinner has bigger concerns than climate adaptation. His Sunshine Double aspirations are overshadowed by his upcoming doping appeal case in April, which stems from the now-infamous “energy gel scandal.”
Sinner’s played well since the doping scandal first surfaced. But now he’s facing WADA, which reportedly seeks a one to two-year ban.
The history, the climate, and the ever-unpredictable nature of tennis suggest that pulling off this rare double will take more than just great tennis—it’ll take endurance, adaptability, and perhaps a well-timed power nap between his coast-to-coast flight.
Sinner has the game and the confidence to win the Sunshine Double. If he pulls it off, he won’t just be joining an elite club—he might be establishing early Federer-like dominance over the ATP Tour.
Take a shot: Know Your Espresso
Give me a shot of espresso. When you say that, you’re talking about a single shot, about an ounce (or 30 ml if you’re measuring) of strong concentrated coffee. That shot is strong enough to serve as the foundation of a latte, cappuccino, macchiato, or flat white.
A double shot, or espresso doppio, is just that, two shots of espresso. A double shot of espresso is not the same as a lungo or long cup, which is a shot of espresso with more water. A more concentrated shot of espresso is a Ristretto.
Now you know your espresso.
